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I agree with Nate that people often misinterpret body language. However, I often think that emails can be misinterpreted as well. I have received emails from people at work and judging from the way the message read, I thought that the person that wrote the message was upset or angry with me. However, when I went to talk to this person face to face, it was then that I discovered that the message was poorly worded and that the person was not upset with me at all. Some people are poor writers; this can interfere with the message they are trying to convey. Others struggle to communicate clearly and effectively with others because they are shy and withdrawn and therefore benefit from written communication. I think that a person’s strenths in communicating (whether it be through written or verbal communication) have to be taken into consideration as well when we look at interpreting meaning from the content of messages.
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All communications channels are subject to mis-delivery. None is better than all the rest. All need to be verified before they can be trusted.
But we tend not to do it in person — and we apply a much lower standard of “verification” in normal discourse.
I once sat in a three hour meeting over the course of which one of my colleagues became more and and more distressed with me. After an escalating period of tension she finally rounded on me and shouted at me, “WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY?!”
I had no idea what she was talking about and asked her, “What am I doing that makes you think I’m angry at anybody, let alone you?”
“Well, look at yourself! You’re sitting there huddled up, arms crossed, legs crossed, you’re blocking me out with your body language and the longer this goes on the tighter and tighter you’re getting wound up! What ELSE am I supposed to think?”
“You COULD think that this light cotton shirt isn’t warm enough and I’m sitting right under the air conditioning vent and I’m freezing my butt off.”
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